I am a comparative literature professor at Oxford University. I also do fortune telling besides lecturing, though unof cially and outside academia. My fortune telling mostly involves literature; I have done some random divination at times, namely 9/11 which I recorded in my diary, exactly 10 years before the incident. I even predicted that Jean Paul Sartre would take a picture with Simone de Beauvoir under the Monument to Balzac.
You may not find my latest foretelling particularly fascinating and you might not take it too seriously, yet important matters need to be taken into consideration no matter how boring they are.
According to my very precise calculations, this foretelling would take place in a hundred and forty years from now, that is to say: 140±7; well a margin of error of 7 years should be acceptable.
Exactly one hundred-and-forty years from now, TESCO Tapestry will become an integral part of English history. It will generate a great deal of scholarly debate and will carry great weight in the realm of comparative literature and eventually, will end up being elegantly hung on one of the walls of the British Museum.
TESCO tapestry is seventy meters long and four meters wide. It depicts the conquest of TESCO by William, the head of TESCO security department, later to become mayor of Elstree, and eventually Britain’s deputy minister of culture and re-enacts his epic battle against an Iranian immigrant. The tapestry will consist of fifty different scenes embroidered on silk linen with coloured woolen yarns and captions sewn in Latin letters. Regardless of these lines, at least three-hundred-thousand more words will be written describing this tapestry among which I can mention a couple of topics such as: